


Finding The Reason

by paradox_slime



Series: Mila and The Turtles [2]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Trauma, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Magic, Sadness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-08-07 18:25:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 16,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7725061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradox_slime/pseuds/paradox_slime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Mila is yanked into an alternate dimension where none of what happened to her has happened yet, she's going to try her very hardest to get the people that she loves back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Whiplash

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back! We're starting exactly where we left off last time. Ready? It's gonna get kinda crazy.

Muscles singing, screaming at you to stop. Again, you're hit with the sensation of ice cold rain pelting your bare skin.

 

You freeze.

 

What?

 

You look down. Then you glance around. Why are you here? You were just... with...

 

How come you don't remember where it was that you were living?

 

You're breathing heavy, sweating in the cold rain. Your body heat has caught up with you, causing steam to rise from your skin.

 

Tears gather in your eyes. Where did you go from here? Why can't you remember? What's happening?

 

Your heart drops to your stomach when you hear the loud screech of the thing that was chasing you.

 

_Shit!_

 

Before you can turn to face it, it tackles you from behind, and you fall to the ground.

 

You let out a loud yell, a hiss escaping your lips when you hit the mossy ground. You turn onto your back, but then it's on you again, flapping it's wings and screeching wildly.

 

Panic rises in your chest. You reach for your chain, but it gets knocked out of your reach. Instead, you pull our phone from your bag, quickly dialing Joey's num-

 

_Joey!_

 

You know he... he  _died_  somehow, but right now, you can't really remember. You press the phone to your ear and bring your arm up to your head to protect yourself.

 

"M... Mila?" you hear Joey's voice.

 

"Joey! I need help! Please!" you shout.

 

"Where are you?!" he asks urgently, fear imminent in his tone.

 

"In the middle of this forest! Please, have someone track me, or-or something, I-I need-"

 

"We'll be right there!"

 

The line goes dead.

 

Within a few minutes, several people are headed towards you, chains and magic tools in hand. Then, the creature is gone, and a familiar set of hands is lifting you from the ground.

 

You look up, your gray eyes locking with hazel ones.

 

"Joey," you breathe. Tears gather in your eyes and you hug him.

 

He flinches, startled. "Mila...?"

 

You pull away quickly, shaking your head. "Uh. Sorry. Let's get going."

 

\-------

 

When you arrive back at headquarters, you wait till Joey is out of earshot before you pull Marcus to the side.

 

"Marcus, listen to me," you say urgently.

 

He brushes his brown curls out of his eyes, nodding.

 

"Joey is going to kill himself. I need you to keep him from doing that," you tell him, doing your best to hold in your tears.

 

Marcus looks taken aback. "What? How do you know?"

 

You glance around to make sure no one's listening, then turn back to Marcus.

 

"Dude, you're gonna have to trust me," you insist.

 

"Not until I know how you know."

 

You growl in frustration. "I'm not sure just yet, but I think something huge happened to me because of the magic we use. It feels like this is the second time I'm living through all this, but it's... different."

 

He snorts. "Like, what, deja vu?"

 

"No, like it's happened. And I just  _know_  this is gonna happen. I don't think there are going to be any more repeats. You need to watch Joey," you press again.

 

Marcus sighs. "Okay, if you insist."

 

"Oh, and don't tell him I said anything," you say as he walks away.

 

"Oh... okay?"

 

You sigh as he heads towards Joey's office. Then, you turn and head for a different part of the headquarters.

 

You head out onto one of the several bridges connecting the whole place. you pass several of your peers, but avoid any kind of contact. You continue on across the next platform, then turn right and head up a flight of stairs. Rounding the bend, you sigh and knock urgently on the door to George's office.

 

"Who is it?" he calls from inside.

 

You push inside carefully. "Hey, George, I need to ask you some questions."

 

The older man smiles at you. "Mila! What a treat. Come in, sit down. Would you like something to drink?"

 

You shake your head and smile in return. "No, thanks, George. Like I said, I only have a few questions."

 

"Well, I'll answer to the best of my ability, dear. Please, sit." he insists, and you lower yourself into the chair in front of his desk.

 

"You know the most about all this magic shit, and-"

 

"Language, young lady-"

 

"-right, sorry, but I need to know, can using this kind of magic mess with events? Or time? Or stuff like that?" you blurt, a confused and frustrated look plastered on your face.

 

George stares at you for a moment, then looks down at his desk, thinking. You wait impatiently for him to answer, bouncing your knee in anticipation.

 

"I believe this is the first official time I'm hearing of this, but... yes, I believe it can."


	2. Getting Back on Two Feet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mila heads into New York City to track down her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So, in my last work, I claimed I would have a more solid updating schedule, because last time it got a little rocky towards the end. Well, I was going to stick to every other day, but I'm kinda lazy. So, I guess I'll be uploading chapters whenever? I'll try my best to keep them as close together as possible so you don't have to wait too long. I thought I had a solid plot this time around, but again, I'm kind of going in blind. I'm still working on the main conflict for this thing, so chapters will be kind of... well, I don't know. Not as stable as last time I guess. I'm trying my very hardest, because I really want to go through with this one. So, if the chapters get a little derailed or weird, bare with me, I'm trying my best. Enjoy Chapter 2, though! More notes at the end.

You take a deep breath. Stay calm, Mila, you can get through this. You take another breath before speaking again.

 

"Okay, so," you start, trying to figure out how to word the next sentence correctly. "Okay, well, given that information, how does it work?"

 

"This was only theory before, but now I am sure it's true." George sighs, standing. He paces around the room, thinking a moment before he continues. "There is not just one instance of time. There are several different ones. So, to use some sort of analogy, take bodies of water. Most people believed there was only one large body of water, until smaller bodies of water were found. Oceans, lakes, and seas. Many people believe there is only one ocean of time, but there are several seas, even smaller lakes of time."

 

"So like... alternate universes, right?" you ask, trying to understand.

 

He nods. "Only these alternate versions of our timeline are not completely different. Most times, the same things happen, only with slightly different outcomes. Like a paper fortune teller."

 

You fall silent for a moment as you process this. "So... what do you think happened to me? I was running and I-I  _blinked_ , and it felt like I had lived this whole other life! But I was back in that forest," you admit, watching him as he stops pacing.

 

"Another life?" he asks quietly.

 

You nod. "It felt so real, I  _know_  it happened," you insist. "I had another child, a  _family_ , I got  _married_ , and you were there,"

 

George smiles fondly at you. "Married, huh? He must've been quite the catch."

 

"He was - is. I need to find him again. I just can't remember where it was I was living," you sigh.

 

"I think I know why you're here," he says, stroking his trimmed beard.

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes. Remember before how I said the same things happen, but with different outcomes?"

 

"Yeah,"

 

"I believe that the Mila here had the same thing happen to her, and she got attacked, like you. But, she probably died before he could call for help. So, you must've been transported here because of your physically being better than the other Mila. This might've been what caused your loss of memory, and the feeling of being in the wrong place," George explains.

 

"Oh, that makes perfect sense!" you exclaim. "It's probably why I can't remember small and important details about locations and other things..."

 

George nods.

 

"I know that I need to go to New York City, though." you say. "This time, I'm not cutting all of you out of my life. At all." you pause. "Maybe Brick."

 

George snorts. "If you go looking, will you come back?"

 

You hesitate. "Maybe. I'd like to actually get to know you better this time around."

 

A smile forms on the older man's lips. "I appreciate that."

 

You smile in return. Then, you cross the room and hug him. "If you'll excuse me, I need to get some things together." Before you leave the room, you turn and sigh. "Make sure you keep an eye on Joey. And tell him I will be coming back... Eventually."

 

Then, you leave without another word.

 

\-------

 

The first thing you do is head up to Joey's.

 

Last time you were here, Joey was gone and Marcus was inside. With Stephen.

 

You sigh. You can't let him get away with this if you know he's going to do it. This system needs him alive.

 

Instead of knocking, you pull a small piece of paper and a pen from your bag.

 

You write,

 

STAY ALIVE. THEY'RE ONTO YOU. AND IF THIS DOESN'T WORK OUT, STEPHEN NEEDS HIS FATHER.

  -MILA.

 

And you slip it under the door and leave.

 

\-------

 

When you reach the forest floor, you immediately dial Thompson. You need a way into the city.

 

He picks up after three and a half rings.

 

"What do you need? I'm busy, Madyson," grumbles Thompson.

 

"Thompson, hi. I need a plane ride to and from the city. Round trip, in other words." you blurt, pacing around a tree.

 

There's a beat of silence. "Fine. I'm sending a jet over to you know."

 

"Thanks. Bye."

 

\-------

 

You don't have to wait very long before you hear the roar of the jet. It lands several yards away, and you wait till the engine cuts out before you head over.

 

A man from the jet's crew hops out of the plane, pulling down a staircase.

 

You nod at him as you make your way onto the jet. You get comfy in the cabin, and in just a few minutes, the engine is roaring to life once again.

 

Then, you're taking off and flying through the air to the hanger just outside the city.

 

\-------

 

Your time with Thompson was brief. Not many words were exchanged. He gave you a car and something small to eat, and some light supplies.

 

Now, you're on the expressway headed for what you hope will once again be your home.

 

Because most things are different in the timeline, there's something inside of you that feels... off. You  _need_  to be with them, all of them, or you know this feeling will never go away.

 

You know them, you know you do, but it hasn't happened yet and you  _don't_. You really  _don't_  know them. And you want to just  _go_  and see them, all of them, but you don't have any clue as to  _where they are_ and it's  _killing_  you.

 

You take a deep breath and shake your head and try your best to focus on the road for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that chapter. This time around, things won't be moving as quickly, just to kind of give this a little bit more length. I know that's kinda cheating, but oh well. Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated! I love feedback, so feel free to tell me what you think so far! I know we're only two chapters in, but it's really appreciated.


	3. The Search Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mila begins the search for those she's... lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Chapter three is here. I'm sorry the breaks between chapters are so big. I'm having trouble finding motivation as of late. I'm in a bit of a rough patch at the moment, but I get this way every few weeks or so. I kind of dig myself into a rut for a week and then I come out of it and I'm okay. I've finished writing the next couple chapters, and am currently working on another. For those of you that didn't read my first work, I write this in a notebook and then type it up. So, enjoy this chapter for now, and I'll upload four when I upload it, I suppose. More notes at the end.

Once you get into the city, it hits you again just how lost you are right now. For fuck's sake, you don't even remember where April - April is her name... right? - works! Wasn't it an... elementary school? Or... or a pre-school?

 

No, it was a pre-school. But what was the name of the damn pre-school?

 

You think hard but don't come up with anything.

 

What about Casey? He spent a lot of time at... at an ice rink, right? Because...

 

Did he skate? No... that wasn't it...

 

What else can you do on the-

 

_Hockey!_  He plays  _hockey!_

 

You stop into the next store, flagging down an employee.

 

"Excuse me, ma'am," you call, and she turns and heads towards you.

 

"How can I help you?" she replies, a bright smile on her lips.

 

"I was hoping you could point me in the direction of the nearest library." you say hopefully.

 

"It's to the left five blocks when you walk outta here, then turn left and walk two more blocks, and it's on the right!"

 

You smile. "Thank you so much!"

 

Then you're headed back out the door and towards the library.

 

\-------

 

There are over 400 pre-schools in New York City, and about 25 to maybe 30 ice rinks.

 

So finding April won't be as easy as finding Casey. Fine, just ask him about her when you find him.

 

You take a deep breath.

 

"Okay," you breathe. "Time to find out if he's behind door number one."

 

You head out of the library and make your way down the busy streets towards the first rink on your list.

 

When you reach the front door, you swallow the lump in your throat and push inside.

 

You glance around. For the life of you, you can't remember the finer details of his face, but you can remember his stance, the color and style of his hair.

 

The front desk catches your eye.

 

"Um, hi," you start, heading for the bored-looking employee. "Does a Casey Jones hang around here?"

 

The employee loos up at the name. He tolls his eyes. "Casey was banned from here a while ago. He hangs out at the rinks downtown now."

 

You sigh and look at your list, taking a pen from the cup a few inches away. You go through your list and cross off every rink that isn't downtown. There are only a few, making your job much easier.

 

"Wait," the employee calls as you walk away. "Why ya lookin' for him anyway? Did he do somethin' bad?"

 

You shake your head. "He's an old friend of mine."

 

The employee nods, processing the information. "Well, I wish ya luck findin' him."

 

You smile. "Thanks."

 

Then, you head back outside and turn to make your way to the first rink downtown.

 

\-------

 

He's not at rink number two, or three. You're about to give up and go get yourself some lunch when you walk into the fourth rink and spot him on the ice.

 

You hurry to the side, watching him speed across the ice through the glass.

 

He isn't playing, he's coaching.

 

Funny, you didn't remember that about him until you saw him.

 

Maybe he'll remember you when he sees you? You sure hope so.

 

You wait (rather impatiently) for him to get off the ice, and you head around to the other side of the rink. He's inside a space designated for the players and the coach, but he's far enough away that you can't flag him down without drawing more attention than you need.

 

Instead, you tap the arm of one of the players.

 

He takes off his helmet, white hair falling into his eyes. he moves the hair out of his face and turns to you.

 

"Hey there," he says kindly. "Can I help you out with anything?"

 

you smile at him. "Hi, I'm Mila. I'm actually looking to talk to your coach. It's kind of important," you admit.

 

"Do y'need me to grab him for you?" he asks.

 

You nod. "That'd be wonderful, thank you,"

 

"No problem," he chuckles, standing and heading over to Casey.

 

After a moment, the two return, and the player sits and resumes taking off his gear.

 

Casey turns to you. "Andy tells me you're lookin' for m-" he freezes. "Hold on, have i met you before?"

 

Your eyes go wide. "Wait, am I familiar to you?"

 

"Yeah. I can't put my finger on it, but somethin' about you; it's like I know ya from somewhere," he admits, looking more than a little frustrated.

 

An excited laugh escapes you. "Oh, thank god," you breathe, running your fingers through your hair. "Casey, I'm Mila. You know me, and I know you. But something happened, and now we're all basically reliving this part of our lives. And we were supposed to meet, yesterday. But because of well... the circumstances, I couldn't get to you, and the people you were with, so-"

 

"Hang on," he cuts you off. "How do you know I was with a group of people yesterday?"

 

"Because, like I said, I was supposed to meet you all yesterday," you repeat.

 

Casey digests the information he's been given. "So," he starts again. "I'm assumin' that because you knew I was with people yesterday, that ya know  _who_  I was with, right?"

 

"Yes. April, April O'Neil, and," you lower your voice, "the turtles."

 

Casey stares at you for a long moment. "How do I know you ain't some Foot Ninja, or a Purple Dragon, or somethin'?"

 

"I don't think I'd be able to prove myself, to be totally honest," you admit. You look up and lock eyes with him. "I guess you're just gonna have to trust me."

 

Casey sighs. "Fine."

 

You smile. "I need to see April," you say, continuing on your, well, quest to find your family. 

 

"You tracked  _me_  down," Casey says, folding his arms across his chest. "Why don't ya just go find her?"

 

You roll your eyes. "It wasn't easy finding you, you know," you tell him. "I went to three or four other rinks before I found you. The worst part about being kicked into an alternate reality is losing all your important memories. There are only about 25 or 30 different ice rinks in the city, there are hundreds of pre-schools."

 

"So, you remembered that I hang around ice rinks, and that April works at a pre-school, but not which ones?" he asks.

 

You nod. "And I don't even remember where the guys live, either. Even though I'm sure I lived there for quite a few years..."

 

Casey thinks for a moment. "Okay, sit tight. These kids gotta get picked up by their parents, and then I'll take the rest of the day off and help ya. As long as you tell me more about the other reality." he smirks.

 

You shrug. "I'll tell you what i can remember, sure."

 

Casey grins excitedly, and you can't help but return the expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for talking so much at the beginning, ahahahaaa... Oh well! I hope you enjoyed chapter three! Feedback is greatly appreciated.


	4. More Friends Means More Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mila gets to see April again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I won't be as long his time. Thank you for keeping up with this so far, to those of you that are. I promise promise promise hat I am trying to pull together a solid posting schedule. But, until I do, enjoy these random updates. Here's chapter 4! More notes at the end.

On the way to April's Pre-School (so named after her; god, you're stupid), you tell Casey what you remember about the other reality. Surprisingly enough to you, he remembers a few small, insignificant details.

 

By the time the two of you arrive, her class is being let out for the day.

 

"April!" Casey exclaims when the two of you step inside.

 

She perks up immediately at his voice. "Casey! What a pleasant - oh," she freezes when her eyes land on you. She stares at you for a moment, like she's trying to figure out who you are.

 

"April, this is Mila," Casey speaks up. "She's got a pretty crazy story that you're gonna wanna hear,"

 

You and Casey take a seat on the opposite side of April's desk, and you do your best to explain to her the same thing you explained to Casey.

 

"So, you don't remember everything, only some things?" she asks when you're done.

 

You nod. "And you should remember some small things, too. On the way over here, I was telling Casey what I remembered from the other reality, and he actually remembered some small details."

 

April looks at Casey. "Really?"

 

The two of you nod, and you continue. "Yeah. Hopefully if I start talking to you about it you'll remember, too."

 

After a beat of silence, April becomes a bit more serious. "How do we know you aren't Foot, or Purple Dragon?"

 

You raise a brow. "Y'know, Casey asked me the same thing, but I gotta be honest," you start, glancing at both of them. "I really don't remember hearing about either of those things in the other reality," you admit.

 

"For real?" Casey asks, surprised.

 

You nod. "For real. I've really never heard of the Foot, or the Purple Dragons before today. I mean, they sound  _kind of_  familiar, so I'm guessing someone  _might've_  mentioned them once or twice? But they were never really a problem in the other reality. The main threat was my mother, actually."

 

"Your mom?" April asks in disbelief.

 

"Yup. I'm pretty sure someone got shot. Was it... R... Raph... ael? In the shoulder, I think," you say. "Oh, and I think... I think someone died,. Someone kind of important, but I can't remember her name. Something with an 'm',"

 

"That's a lot to take in," April admits.

 

"I know, and I'm sorry to drop it on you both like this. But I really need to see the guys," you plead, looking at both of them in turn. "Can you take me to them?"

 

April and Casey glance at each other. 

 

"Okay," April sighs. "Let me just pack up here, and we can go."

 

You smile. "Thank you."

 

\-------

 

Before the three of you head underground, you make a quick stop at April's apartment.

 

When you step inside, more memories start coming to you.

 

"We were here," you say quietly.

 

"I'm... sorry?" April asks, confused.

 

"We were here," you repeat, louder. "All of us. And, and we, me and you, we were singing, and dancing! Upstairs, in your room! And I gave Raphael-" you pause. " _Raphael!_  That's his name!"

 

April and Casey glance at each other. 

 

"What did you give Raph?" Casey asks curiously?

 

You move over to April. "And me and you... we did this," you repeat what you remember, pulling her close and dancing with her.

 

She looks visibly confused, but her body follows your movements.

 

"What-?" then it clicks. "Oh, god, you're right,"

 

"Do you remember?" you ask hopefully.

 

"A few things. I definitely remember that. And you gave Raph a - oh," she grins at you.

 

You grin back, more than pleased that she remembers.

 

"What did you give him?!" Casey asks again, impatient.

 

You turn to him. "Try to remember,"

 

Casey thinks hard, trying to remember.

 

After a moment, his expression changes, and you know he's discovered more memories.

 

"I remember you'n April dancin'... and then... you...  _oh_ ," he says, turning pink.

 

"So, remember what I gave Raphael?" you ask.

 

"Yeah," he averts his eyes. "A lap dance."

 

You grin smugly. "Was I that good?"

 

You look at April. She nods. You look at Casey. He nods.

 

"Hm. I bet I could do better. I'll have to find out when I see him again." you say. "April, you got what you need?"

 

The red head nods again. "Yeah, I'm good. Let's go."

 

The three of you head out of the apartment and back out of the building onto the streets.

 

\-------

 

It takes a while to find an alley that has a manhole with out people in it.

 

Casey heads over to the cover and lifts it, or at least tries to.

 

"A little help?" he hisses.

 

You head over and reach for the other side, helping him lift and move the cover.

 

April hops in first, then Casey, and you last, moving the cover back into it's place before plunging into the dark, smelly sewers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this. Are you guys ready for the reunion next chapter?


	5. Anxiety and Anticipation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ouch is all I have to say (more notes at the end)

Anticipation and anxiety build up in your chest as April and Casey lead you through the sewers.

 

Dozens of questions and thoughts buzz around in your head.

 

What if they don't remember you? What if things go differently here? Will Raphael still love you when and...  _if_  he remembers you? Will he still want to be Stephen's father?

 

Your breathing gets quicker and your heart starts racing.

 

"No, no, not here..." you say, pausing. "h, g-guys, wait," you call.

 

April turns. "Mila?" she moves over next to you, placing her hands gently on your arms.

 

She helps you sink carefully to the floor as you start hyperventilating. She pulls you close and hugs you as you start having an anxiety attack. She rubs your back as you start to cry, and you curl up against her to the best of your ability.

 

Casey sits next to the two of you, running his hand through your hair soothingly.

 

It takes several minutes, but you calm down and wipe your face.

 

"Thanks guys." you say softly.

 

April helps you stand. "No problem." she takes your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Everything will be fine. I promise. Now let's get going."

 

You nod, and the three of you resume your journey through the tunnels.

 

\-------

 

As the three of you round the last bend, the area around you becomes more and more familiar. You glance at your surroundings, getting a feel for where you are.

 

You all pause in front of the secret entrance, hesitating.

 

April turns to you. "Are you ready?" she asks quietly.

 

You take a deep breath. "Yes."

 

Casey opens the door, and the three of you step inside.

 

\-------

 

Donatello and Michelangelo both look up when they hear the footsteps.

 

"What's up April? Casey? And - wait," Mikey pauses, staring at you for a long moment. "Uh, guys, who's this?"

 

You look up at him. "Do you know who I am?"

 

He continues to stare at you. "I feel like I'm supposed to...?"

 

"Let me give you a hint, Mikey," April chimes in. "Her name starts with an 'm',"

 

The orange-clad turtle stares at you again.

 

"Mila," Donnie suddenly blurts from the couch, standing.

 

"Oh, shit, yeah," Mikey agrees. You can tell by the look on his face that he's remembered something. "Wait, what?"

 

You can't help the grin that breaks across your face. You throw your arms around him excitedly.

 

"I'm so glad that you two remember that you know me," you sigh.

 

"What's all this?" Leonardo calls from the dojo entrance. "Who is this?"

 

"You know me," you reply, pulling away from Michelangelo. "Or at least, you're supposed to by now. I'll explain everything, but I need all of you to be here. Where are Raphael and Splinter?"

 

"I can bring you to meet him in the dojo," Leo says, something like recollection flashing in his bright blue eyes. "As for Raph...?"

 

"You rang...?" says a gruffy voice.

 

You all turn to see Raphael standing in the foyer.

 

Your heart pounds.

 

Several seconds pass in silence.

 

"Who's this?"

 

Never have two words hurt so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that short chapter. Six will be longer, I promise!


	6. Re-Introduced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mila's worst fear has been realized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Hope you're all having an awesome day! I'm lit, it was my goddamn birthday on the 10th. WHOOP! (More notes at the end)

You swallow the lump forming in your throat.

 

"Uh, hi," you so  _badly_  want to call him babe, or hug him or  _kiss him_  but...  you aren't there yet with him in this reality... "I'm Mila. I'm going to explain everything, if you'll, uh, if you'll listen,"

 

He examines you with his sharp green eyes. It's all you can do not to melt or shudder under his scrutiny. You've never felt more pressure in your life.

 

"Sure," he says. "After you guys."

 

He follows the entire group as you head for the dojo. You try to sneak a look back at him, but he's staring straight at you.

 

This is gonna be fun.

 

\-------

 

Once you're all situated in the dojo (everyone but Raphael sitting around you - he opted to lean against the adjacent wall), you take a deep breath.

 

"As I've said, by now, you're all supposed to know me. We were supposed to meet. About, well... over a day ago. In that forest. I'm assuming you all know which one I'm talking about."

 

You get nods and a small chorus of agreements.

 

"That same time you were all there, so was I. I was supposed to run into you there and come back here with you. That did happen... In another reality. But, because my decisions in that reality, I was forced into this on in place of another version of myself that messed up here." you explain. Everyone looks intrigued... even Raphael.

 

"I'm guessing," you continue. "That because these two realities are so close in proximity to one another, it's why you guys know who I am. Or, now that you're supposed to know me. April and Casey have even remembered certain things. Like, insignificant events and details."

 

The turtles and Splinter fall silent, but Donatello is the first to speak up.

 

"Alternate realities... exist?" Donatello asks, more excited than everyone put together.

 

You nod. "I lived in another one before this. I made some... mistakes. And did a few things that I guess I wasn't really supposed to." you admit.

 

"Would you mind sharing what you know about other realities? For research purposes, I mean," Donatello asks hopefully.

 

You smile shyly. "I don't know much, but I'll tell you what I can."

 

His eyes light up. "Awesome!" I'm gonna head over to my lab, just meet me in there whenever you're ready!"

 

The purple-clad turtle flees the room excitedly.

 

"Welp, I'm gonna go grab some food. Who wants to join?" Mikey asks.

 

Leo, Casey and April get up to follow, and Splinter heads into his room, leaving only you and Raphael.

 

Your heartbeat hammers in your chest. What's going to happen? Does he recognize you?

 

He steps closer and closer until he's only a foot away from you. He squints at you.

 

"Am I supposed ta know who you are?" he asks, sounding confused and slightly frustrated. "I feel like I am... but I don't. Everyone else seems to know who you are. And they seem ta trust you. But I don't. You could be a Foot clan spy, or even a Purple Dragon. So, I'm tellin' you now; if you make one wrong move, or slip up... I won't hesitate-" he unsheathes his sai and points it at your neck, "-ta do what I gotta." he places it back in his belt. "Don't forget it."

 

You swallow the lump forming in your throat.

 

"I don't know how or why you don't remember me," you comment quietly. "Maybe it's because in the other reality... we were very close."

 

'What?" he nearly snaps, looking more confused than before. "What are you talking about?"

 

You sigh. "You say now that you don't trust me. But in the other reality, you trusted me more than you've ever trusted anyone."

 

That stumps him.

 

You lock eyes with him for a moment before sighing again.

 

"I'll be with Donnie in his lab if you wanna 'watch for any slip-ups'," you slightly mock his threat as you try your best not to sprint out of the room.

 

As soon as you're headed down the hall, it hits you that something's very different about the Raphael in this reality. Something must've happened to him.

 

You can only hope it doesn't affect the fact that you two are supposed to be together as long as you're alive.

 

But... didn't the other version of you die?

 

You take a deep breath.

 

This is going to be very difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed Chapter 6! God, I can't wait to post Chapter seven. It's so darn good. Heck yeah.


	7. (Mis)Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mila gets into an argument with one of the guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting to upload this chapter since I frickin' wrote it, I hope you like it as much as I do.

The days that follow are... okay.

 

You're getting to know your family all over again, which is the most unique experience you've ever had.

 

In this reality, some of the guys' likes and dislikes have changed. Different experiences, you suppose.

 

But Raphael remains stand-offish.

 

No matter how you try and catch his attention - whether it be trying to include him in conversation, ask him for a favor, or including him in activities. (Mikey even tried to get him to play Mario with you guys, but he just rolled his eyes and secluded himself in his room.)

 

On the afternoon of the third day you're with everyone again, you're doing so rewiring with Donnie on one of the TVs.

 

You glance around for the adapter you need, and spot it on the couch.

 

"Shit," you mutter. You can't exactly let this go, and you can't reach-

 

Raphael walks into the living room.

 

"Oh, hey, Raphael!" you call.

 

He freezes and turns his head.

 

"Can you please do me a favor and grab that adapter for me? I can't let this go or we'll have to start all over," you tell him, your expression hopeful.

 

The red-clad turtle sighs. He walks around the couch and grabs the adapter, tossing it into your lap and turning for the kitchen.

 

Oh, you don't like that at all.

 

As soon as you get the adapter plugged in and set up, you stand and storm towards him, standing in front of him and blocking his way into the kitchen.

 

"I've had it," you start, staring up at him angrily. "What the ever-loving  _fuck_  is your problem with me?! I have been nothing but  _nice_  to all of you, and I've even tried including you in what everyone's been doing these past few days. But whenever  _I'm_  involved, you won't fucking have it! So tell me, why do you dislike me so much?!" your chest heaves with rage, and you wait impatiently for his answer.

 

"Because you're a  _stranger_. And for some weird reason, everyone seems to trust you. But I can't just put my trust in some random chick that shows up in  _my_  home, with some whackbag story that shouldn't make sense to everyone but  _me_. I don't know what you're tryina pull here, but-"

 

You cut him off. "I'm not trying to pull  _anything!_  If you'd pull your head out of your shell for a bit, you'd see that! God, I don't know what happened to you here in this reality, but I've never seen you act this fucking  _arrogant_. Or ignorant, for that matter."

 

"And where do you get off actin' like you know who the hell I am?!" he's in your face now, and you're both beyond  _livid_.

 

"Because I  _do!_  And you're supposed to know who  _I am_ , too! But for some reason, you  _don't!_  And I can't understand _why!_ For fuck's sake, we're supposed to-" you stop yourself, biting your lip. Your breathing is heavy, and you're still angry. But... should you really vocalize this?

 

"We're supposed to what?!" he asks, clearly frustrated.

 

You throw away your logic. " _We're supposed to be together!"_

 

It goes quiet.

 

" _What?!"_ he exclaims.

 

"Yes, it's  _true_. In the other reality, we were together, and we were  _happy_. Hell, we even..." there are tears in your eyes now. "You were..." you sigh. "I don't know why you don't remember. I don't know why you don't remember  _me_. But you gotta understand, Raphael. This isn't just difficult and weird for you. It's difficult and weird for me, for all of us. I just don't understand why you can't... try."

 

You look up at him. His expression is unreadable. His eyes look like they're processing, calculating this information.

 

He finally takes a deep breath. "You said this is a different reality. Well, that's exactly why. It's  _different_."

 

And with that, he walks around you and into the kitchen.

 

\-------

 

After your fight with Raphael, you avoid him for the rest of the day (it's not like you wanted to; you wanted to scream at him some more, but Leo and Mikey threatened to lock you in the dojo with Splinter as 'time out').

 

You find yourself in Donatello's lab after an hour or so.

 

You et our a frustrated sigh. "What is his problem?" you ask yourself for the millionth time. "I don't get why he doesn't remember, or why he still thinks I'm gonna do something to you guys."

 

"Well, what he said before is right," Donnie replies, continuing to tinker with the object on his desk. "About it being different, I mean. If what you said about the Shredder is true, that he was never an issue in the other reality, there's one big difference between the realities."

 

You look over at him. "He's a big problem here," you finish.

 

Donatello nods. "In our last fight with the Shredder, we were very close to finishing him off for good. getting rid of him would've meant the collapse of all Foot clan and Purple Dragon activity for good." the purple-clad turtle sighs. "Raphael was going to deliver the final blow. As he was making his jump, he ended up slipping and missing the Shredder."

 

You can't believe your ears. "That must've totally killed his pride," you point out.

 

Donnie nods again. "Because the Shredder was able to get back up and command another attack, most of us were badly injured... and we were forced to retreat."

 

You fall silent as you take that in. "So... I'm guessing that if he missed in this reality, and it crippled his personality, he must not have missed in the other one. No wonder why he seems so different here..."

 

Donatello turns to you. "What was he like in the other reality?" he asks curiously.

 

You sigh, a fond smile on your lips. "Sweet. He definitely cared a lot more than this Raphael. My Raph was... passionate, and bothered to show how he felt. Even if it was anger, or if he was upset. And he always put us first."

 

Donnie looks up at you. "Us?"

 

Nodding, you continue. "At the moment, I have a son," you admit. "And in the other reality, I was... well, i ended up getting pregnant again. And Raphael was more than willing to be the father of my kids."

 

The purple-clad turtle let's out a puff of air, sitting back. " _Wow_ ," he says, looking a little overwhelmed with this information.

 

"They both loved him, and wouldn't have asked for a different dad." you can feel your eye get hot with tears. "I couldn't have asked for a better dad for them..."

 

"Mila?" Donnie turns his chair towards you.

 

"I'm still in love with him, Don," you admit, tears finding their way down your cheeks. "And he has no clue who I am... He doesn't even remember..."

 

Donnie gets up and grabs you a folding chair, helping you sit. "Maybe there's a reason," he suggests, resting his index finger on his chin.

 

You look up, sniffling. "You think?"

 

The purple-clad turtle nods. "There has to be. Why else would all of us remember? He's the only one who doesn't. There's got to be a key factor here, something that's setting him apart form he rest of us,"

 

"Like what?" you ask, unsure.

 

"Well, you told us that in the other reality, we were your family. And, i can tell you still love us. But..." after a moment of thinking, his face lights up. " _But_ , all of us didn't have an intimate relationship with you! You were closest with him,"

 

"That's true," you agree. "Do you really think that's why he doesn't remember?"

 

He nods. "It's gotta be. And there has to be a key reason as to why you were put  _here_ , too. We'll figure it out, I promise."

 

You smile. "Don't tell the others, but besides Raph, you're definitely my favorite."

 

Donnie smiles back. "I'm honored... But I'm  _definitely_  telling Mikey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed? Wonder what'll happen next?


	8. The Road To Rebuilding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael decides to give Mila a shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is hecka cute and I love it. More notes at the end!

Raphael knows he shouldn't be listening. And he  _feels_  like he doesn't care... So why  _is_  he listening?

 

He shouldn't be this bothered over a fight with a stranger. Or this bothered. But he  _is_.

 

"What was he like in the other reality?" he hears Donnie ask.

 

What? He couldn't possibly be different there...

 

"...definitely cared a lot more than this Raphael. My Raph was... passionate-"

 

_What?!_

 

Who  _are_ you? And why are you talking about him like this?

 

"Mila?" he hears his brother say.

 

"I'm still in love with him, Don," now he  _knows_  you're crying.

 

Every fiber of his being wants to go in there and comfort you, but he stays put. Why? He has no idea who you  _are_.

 

"Don't tell the others," he hears you say. "but besides Raph, you're my favorite."

 

Raphael walks away.

 

\-------

 

You take a deep breath, opening your eyes. Everyone watches you expectantly.

 

"I have a son." you blurt. "And before now, Donnie was the only one who knew. At the moment, he's with his birth father, but I'd like to bring him here."

 

After a brief silence, Leo speaks up.

 

"Alright, but one of us is going to have to go with you." he stands. "Any volun-"

 

"I'll go." Raphael speaks up, walking into the room.

 

Everyone stares at him.

 

"What? I said I'll go." he repeats. "Only to make sure she ain't pullin' nothin'."

 

"Okay," Leo says slowly. "You're more than capable. Mila, Raphael will be accompanying you on your trip."

 

You swallow, looking up at the red-clad turtle. "Fun," you force through gritted teeth.

 

You take your bag and head out to the garage, taking a deep breath.

 

This is going to be so awkward.

 

\-------

 

The ride to Thompson's hangar is silent except for you speaking up a few times to give directions.

 

The two of you get out and head inside.

 

Thompson is conversing with a man in a suit. As soon as the latter lays eyes on Raphael, his words die on his lips.

 

"Ah Mila, you're back." he says turning. "And you've brought someone. Ready to get back to headquarters so soon, huh?" he dismisses the man in the suit.

 

"As of right now, I need a quick round trip. Pick up my son and come back." you tell him.

 

Thompson rolls his eyes. "Fine. Make it snappy."

 

"Yeah, yeah."

 

The elder man sighs and heads off to gather a small plane crew.

 

\-------

 

The plane isn't in the air for five minutes before you notice Raphael's anxious and frustrated expression.

 

"What?" you ask him.

 

"Whaddya mean, 'what'?" he snaps back.

 

"I  _mean_ , what's your deal? Something's bothering you and it's making the air in here so dense and negative," you say, crossing your arms over your chest.

 

He sighs in frustration. "You keep talkin' about me and at first, I-I didn't believe it, but I heard you talkin' with Don earlier, and now, I don't know what to think,"

 

Your cheeks flush pink. "How much... How much did you hear?"

 

"Well, I know you're still in love with me," he comments, clearly mocking you.

 

Your face heats up. "So what if I am?" you shoot back.

 

He stares at you for a long moment. "Why?"

 

You pause. "Why?" you echo. "I've never met a man as perfect, and amazing, and devoted as you. You're so passionate, and caring," you smile to yourself.

 

Raphael goes quiet.

 

You glance at him. He seems lost in thought, like he's trying to think of something. Trying to remember.

 

"You really don't remember me, do you?" you ask, feeling your eyes get hot with oncoming tears.

 

He shakes his head. "When I heard you talkin' with Donnie, I was so confused," he admits. "I had this overwhelmin' urge ta just fuckin'  _hug_  you, and ta make ya feel better, and I had no clue why."

 

Your head snaps up. "Really?" you ask, genuinely surprised. "That's good,"

 

"How?"

 

"That means you haven't entirely forgotten me," you get up and sit next to him. "I'm still in your memories, I'm still there," you search his eyes with yours and take his hand. "We just have to find those memories and unlock them."

 

His eyes flicker down to your hands. "I feel like," he starts. You catch him glancing at your lips. "I feel like I should kiss you,"

 

Your heart pounds in your chest. "So do it,"

 

He leans in, his eyes slowly slipping closed.

 

You close the distance, pressing your lips to his.

 

His hand finds a place on the nape of your neck, holding you in place. You follow his movement, keeping one hand on his and using the other to cup his cheek.

 

When you pull apart, he rests his forehead on yours.

 

"I'm sorry," he says, chuckling.

 

"For what?"

 

"For being so  _arrogant_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that cutsie fluffy shit as much as I did!


	9. Milk Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The return of our favorite little kid!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Spooky Month! Are you guys excited that Halloween is coming up? More notes at the end.

By the time the plane lands, the air between the two of you is different.

 

Not exactly clear, and there's still hesitance, but it's different.

 

He seems a lot less hostile than before. But this is the side of him you love; the quiet, emotional, soft side.

 

You lead him to the entrance tree. You open the panel and pull the lever to release the trolley, waiting patiently for it to come down.

 

When it hits the ground, the two of you step in and begin your ascent.

 

As soon as you make it up to the main platform, you're getting looks.

 

"Who's this fr-" Brick starts, but you cut him off.

 

"Brick, if you're about to say freak, you have a death wish." you snap. "I'll kill you where you stand."

 

Brick falls silent, surprised by your words.

 

"C'mon Raph, I have a few people I need to talk to."you start towards Marcus's office, and he follows behind you.

 

The two of you walk across the main platform, then take a right and walk up a couple of stairs. You round the bend and arrive at Marcus's door. You knock on the door, and immediately you hear,

 

"Come in."

 

Marcus is siting at his desk, frustratedly looking down at some paperwork. He glances up, then looks back up at you, surprised.

 

"Mila, you're back," he points out. "And this is...?"

 

"Raphael. I just need your attention for a few minutes. How's Joey?" you ask.

 

He sighs. "You were right. He made an attempt shortly after you left. We've been monitoring him ever since. You saved his life."

 

You shake your head. "You almost didn't believe me. I'm glad you caught him."

 

Marcus nods. "Is that all you need? I am very busy."

 

"Yeah," you reply, turning for the door. "Later."

 

The two of you exit, and you lead him up to George's office.

 

You knock quietly, peeking your head in. "George?"

 

"Mila, you're back! Come in, come in!" he says enthusiastically.

 

You step inside, hesitating before you let Raphael follow. "I did it, George," you say, smiling.

 

"What did you do, my dear?" he asks, standing from his desk.

 

"I found him." you step in and Raphael follows. "My love. I found him again."

 

"This is him? My, what a handsome young turtle creature!" he exclaims, walking over to take Raphael's hand and shake it. "It's good to meet you, my boy!"

 

"Uh, it's nice ta meet ya too, sir," he replies, clearly overwhelmed.

 

"Don't mind George, he can be overbearing." you comment. "But George is to me what Splinter is to you, Raphael. He's like a father to me. Taught me what I know now."

 

The red-clad turtle turns to look at George, who is still smiling excitedly. "Huh," he says quietly.

 

"I wanted to visit you before I left again," you say, turning to him. "I'm picking up Stephen."

 

George nods. "I'm sure he will be happy to be with his mother again."

 

You hug him. "Thanks, George."

 

Then, the two of you are out another door and on the way to Joey's office.

 

\-------

 

You knock once.

 

One of Joey's watchmen answers. "What is it?"

 

"I'd like to see my son." you reply, not in the mood for the 'what's-the-password?' game.

 

The door opens, and you and Raphael step inside.

 

Joey sits up on his bed. "Mila," he breathes. He slaps his palm to his forehead. "God, now I feel stupid."

 

"Yeah, you should," you turn to the watchman. "Leave us if you value your genitals."

 

He hurries out of the room, leaving the three of you in silence.

 

"So, who's th-"

 

"This is not the time for introductions," you snap. "What the  _fuck_ , Joey?! You're Stephen's biological  _father!_  He needs you  _alive!_ _"_  you exclaim.

 

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, I-"

 

"No, obviously you  _don't_  know! Joey, I told you I'd be back and I meant it. You couldn't have just waited to see?" you're breathing pretty heavy. You sigh. "Joey, look. We have... history," you say carefully, conscious of Raphael's presence. "but things are different. I understand that you don't believe it. I've been through a lot, I'm not even worth it, anyway. You need to stop being so petty, and screw your head back on. Focus on what's important."

 

Joey is quiet. "I'm sorry, Mila," he says softly.

 

You sigh. "Joey, get up."

 

He does as you say, standing. As soon as he's on his feet, you pull him into a hug.

 

"You're the leader around here. These guys need you," you say into his shoulder.

 

He nods. "I know."

 

You pull away. "Good. Now that that's squared away, the real reason I'm here. I'd like to take Stephen for a little while."

 

Joey stares at you. "How long?" he asks slowly.

 

"Maybe a week or two. It's very important," you tell him.

 

After a moment, Joey nods. "Yeah, follow me."

 

He leads you and Raphael through a door. On the other side is a beautiful room, one fit for a spoiled child.

 

"I haven't seen this yet. It's beautiful, Joey." you tell him in awe.

 

And then there's Stephen, sitting at a small table. He has crayons and paper and quiet nursery rhymes are drifting from a small speaker. The light coming from the window is glinting on his hair, making it look golden.

 

He looks up.

 

"Hey, sweetheart," you say softly.

 

After a moment, he breaks into a grin, getting up and stumbling over himself to get to you. "Mommy!" he exclaims.

 

"Hi, Stephen," you kiss his forehead. "How would you like to come stay with Mommy for a while?"

 

He nods. Then, he seems to finally notice Raphael for the first time.

 

"Mommy? Who is that?" he asks curiously.

 

You pause. You take a deep breath.

 

"That's your second dad," you say carefully.

 

The expression on Stephen's face is intense, calculating. Then, he's smiling.

 

" _Two dads?!_  I'm special!" he says excitedly.

 

You smile. "Yes you are. Now, what I want you to do is grab  _aaaaaaaaaall_  of your favorite shirts and toys and things so you can bring them to Mommy's, okay?"

 

Stephen nods enthusiastically. "Okay!"

 

Then, he's sprinting around his room, excitedly opening drawers and grabbing things off of his shelves.

 

The three of you step out of his room so he can finish without distraction.

 

Joey is quiet again.

 

You glance at Raph. "Could you give us just a minute? Please?"

 

He nods, heading outside.

 

You turn to Joey.

 

"Two dads?" he says, sounding upset.

 

"Joey, I know we were together a while back, but it wasn't a relationship. I wasn't happy. And I don't regret it now, but at the time, I didn't want to keep Stephen. I was a kid having a kid and I was scared. As soon as you found out you were having a son, I stopped having a choice. I thought I loved you, but it was just me being scared. I love you now, yes, but for different reasons. Raphael is my soul mate." you stare up at him, trying to lock eyes with him. "Please understand, Joey, I still care about you, I do. Just not the same way I care about him."

 

He nods. "Yeah. That hurts like a bitch, but... I have a system to run. I'll get over it. I promise I won't scare you or Marcus or George again."

 

You smile. "Thanks. I promise I'll bring Stephen back in a couple of weeks. Until then, we'll keep in touch."

 

Joey nods, turning to Stephen's door. "C'mon, buddy," he says, heading in to help him finish packing.

 

Once Stephen has everything he needs, You head outside with him and Joey. The two say a heartfelt goodbye, and Stephen makes Joey  _promise_  he'll see him again in two weeks.

 

When Stephen is ready, you, him, and Raphael make your way back to the trolley. The three of you descend to the forest floor, then make your way back to the plane.

 

You're happy when you're boarding, but you can't help but feel like something's... missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated <3


	10. Never A Dull Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen joins the crew, and they start working on a plan to defeat their main enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know it's been a while since I posted, I'm so so so sorry! But here's chapter ten. More notes at the end.

The way back home is... uneventful. Aside from Stephen excitedly showing Raphael his favorite toys, things are quiet.

 

It isn't until you get home that things pick up their pace.

 

When the three of you arrive, everyone is gathered in the living room, looking very concerned.

 

"Leo?" Raph calls. "What's gon' on?"

 

The blue-clad turtle looks up. "While you two were gone, there was a bank heist on the upper east side. take a wild guess as to who pulled it off."

 

Raph growls. "Purple stinkin' Dragons."

 

Leo nods. "We were able to stop it and return the money, but the goons got away."

 

"The nerve of those guys," Raphael forces through gritted teeth. "It hasn't even been two months since..." his voice trails off.

 

"I know. But this can't be where they'll stop. They're going to strike again, and we need to find out how, where, and when." Leo says, glancing around at everyone.

 

"What's the plan, fearless leader?" Mikey chimes in, sitting on the back of the couch.

 

"Glad you asked," Leo starts. He turns to the purple-clad turtle. "Don, I need you to try and find Shredder's networks and find out what he's having the Dragons do next. Mila and April will be put on recon missions. Raph, Mikey and I will focus on patrolling the city and getting information any way we can. Splinter will stay here with Stephen to hold down the fort and keep track of our reports with Casey. Everyone get it?"

 

The room is a chorus of agreements and nods.

 

"Good. I'll set up a map for checkpoints for each and every one of you, and keep you posted. Stay alert ninjas, Mila." he says, leaving the room.

 

After he leaves, it's quiet till you break the silence.

 

"Casey's a ninja but  _I'm_  not?"

 

Everyone laughs.

 

Even Raphael.

 

\-------

 

After about two hours, Leo comes back into the room with a map and a plan.

 

He explains to everyone where positions and rendezvous points will be in case of emergency. He discusses code words and names, and how to make contact with another group if you or them are caught.

 

"Over the next few weeks, we will be going on a series of missions, putting almost all other priorities aside," Leo says, crossing his arms over his chest. "That being said, everyone, get in your last fills of your favorite things to do. Because in the next month, we will be working our shells off to make this our  _real_  final stand against the Shredder. For good."

 

"No video games for almost a month?!" Mikey exclaims. "S'cuse me guys while I go get my last fix!"

 

Raph rolls his eyes.

 

"You guys should follow Mikey's lead. Or you could come train. Your choice." Leo says, heading for the dojo.

 

Donnie takes a breath. "I'm gonna head to the lab. April?"

 

The red-head nods. "I'll help if there's anything I can do."

 

Casey grins. "I'm gonna go train with Leo. I've never really fought with him before."

 

That leaves you and Raphael. Again.

 

You turn to him, searching his eyes.

 

"I know it's useless asking this question," you cup his cheek with your hand. "Do you remember me yet?"

 

He shakes his head. "No. But I was wrong about you, though," he smiles. "I don't have any memories of you, but there's somethin' there."

 

You smile back. "I'm so glad some part of you remembers.

 

Then it's quiet.

 

Raphael's eyes keep hitting your lips, and you can't help but look back at his.

 

"Can I-"

 

"Please,"

 

Then, his lips are on yours again.

 

After a moment, he hesitates, then pulls away.

 

"Raphael?" you question, looking up at him.

 

"I-I almost remembered somethin'," he says, bewildered.

 

"You did?" you gasp, hopeful.

 

He nods. "Almost. I think this might be a time thing."

 

"I agree. But the longer I'm here, the more you remember. This is helping,"

 

"Then kiss me again," he replies, leaning in and pulling you closer by your waist.

 

Things are definitely looking up.

 

\-------

 

Later, you and Raphael end up inhis room. You're nearly pinned under him.

 

After your little moment in the kitchen, he took you into his room and you've been attached at the lips since.

 

You have all your limbs wrapped around him, and he's grinding on you.

 

He breaks the kiss to lean down and press his lips to your jaw, neck, and collarbone.

 

You gasp when his lips and tongue land on your neck, slowly moving down.

 

"Don't," you gasp when he nips you. "Don't leave anything that people can... where people can see it..."

 

He grunts in response, dipping the collar of your shirt with his finger so he can suck a bruise onto your collar bone.

 

You feel one of his hands slide up your shirt and the other is trailing downwards.

 

Your body arches in response, inviting him in.

 

But just then, there's a loud knock on the door, and Leo peeks inside.

 

"We're about to leave, are you guys-" He pauses. "Oh my god, really?"

 

"We're comin'. Leave." Raph snaps.

 

Leonardo lets out a frustrated sigh before shutting the door.

 

Raph sits up and pulls away from you.

 

"Damn. Well, I guess this is where it starts. Let's go." he stands from the bed and heads for the door, and you follow behind him.

 

Before you leave, you squat in front of Stephen.

 

"Listen, baby, I know we were gonna spend time together, but Mama's gonna have a lot to do this week. But I promise I'll do my best to make time for you." you move the hair out of his face and kiss his forehead. "I love you, Stephen."

 

"Love you too, Mama," he replies, wrapping his arms around your neck.

 

When you pull apart, you stand and head out of the lair with the others for your first mission of many.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoo-oooyyyeeeddd!!! Love you guys <3


	11. Old Past Meets New Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry omg

The next week or so goes fairly smooth.

 

Leo's hard on everyone, but you're getting things done.

 

Everyone has gained different information, and you've been trying to piece it together.

 

You and April have scoped out the surroundings of Shredder's different strongholds and buildings, but haven't seen much action.

 

In the beginning of the next week, you and April opt to explore the alleys around one of Shredder's armories.

 

You nod at the red head as you watch her disappear behind one of the buildings. You turn the opposite way and head into an alley, using the flashlight on your phone to look for anything suspicious.

 

You're almost to the corner when you hear the sound of a car door slamming shut and footsteps.

 

Your stomach drops.

 

You know what this is.

 

Wait, where's-

 

_April!_

 

You chance a look around the corner. You see the taxi, then watch the guy head another way.

 

Then, just as you feared, April rounds the corner. She stares at the taxi, then glances around and spots you. She hurries over and then you swing her around the corner and out of sight.

 

"April, you need to get out of here," you tell her urgently, locking eyes with her.

 

"What? Why?" she asks, sounding nervous.

 

"Because something bad is going to happen," you say, glancing back at the taxi. He isn't back yet.

 

"Is this something that happened in the other reality?" April asks.

 

You nod, trying to push her further away from the taxi. "Yes, but you really need to get away. I'm going to try and stop this."

 

She stares at you for a moment. "Fine," she agrees finally. "But be careful."

 

April pulls you into a quick hug and then sprints off in the other direction.

 

You sigh, digging around in your bag for the explosives Donatello gave you. Then, you creep towards the car carefully.

 

You need to plant one in the front, blow up the engine.

 

Sneaking around, you squat and stick the bomb to the bumper. But before you can set it, someone clears their throat behind you.

 

Your heart skips a beat.

 

Before you can do anything, your head is being knocked into the side of the car and your vision goes black.

 

\-------

 

When you come to, you can't move. You tug on your restraints. Cool air grazes your bare skin, causing goosebumps to raise along your torso.

 

"No," you whimper quietly, starting to shake. "No, no, no,  _no, no!"_

 

Then he's walking into your field of vision.

 

"Look who's awake," he comments slyly.

 

All you can do is stare, horrified, as you relive the worst night of your life.

 

\-------

 

Leo jumps when his phone starts ringing on his belt.

 

"Hello...?"

 

"Leo, you need to get to me quick, I can't find Mila and he isn't picking up her phone and last I saw her she was telling me to run because something bad was gonna happen and now-"

 

"Woah, woah, April, slow down, we'll be right over," he says, sighing and hanging up. "We need to-"

 

"Mila is in trouble," Raphael blurts. "I feel it... like this has happened before. We need to go, now."

 

The red-clad turtle pushes past his brothers, sprinting for April's location.

 

\-------

 

As soon as the guys touch the ground, April is a mess all over again.

 

"Guys, thank  _god!_  Look, there was a taxi and Mila told me to run away because there was something bad about to happen and-and I think she tried to stop it, but I came back and her  _and_ the taxi were gone..." April has tears running down her face.

 

"Taxi?" Leo replies, confused. He turns to Raph. "Are you getting anything?"

 

"I feel like I might know where she is," he says, nodding. "Come on,"

 

He leads them back across the city to you.

 

\-------

 

You have tears and snot and other... fluids running down your face. You're exhausted, and bloody, and you feel your consciousness slipping.

 

But your first thought isn't, "Help!", it's, "Will they remember?"

 

He's in the other room, washing something. You can just barely hear the sink running before black clouds your vision.

 

\-------

 

April and the Turtles stand in the alley, looking up at the empty building.

 

"This place?" Mikey asks hesitantly.

 

Raph nods. "I know it seems ridiculous, but I'm positive she's here."

 

"Alright," Leo says. "Let's head inside."

 

They all slip in through a window that wasn't boarded up properly. They creep through the dark lobby of the building, scanning for any sign of you.

 

"There are plenty of floors to this building, so-" Leo starts, but Raph cuts him off.

 

"There are like, twenty-somethin'," he says. "But she's somewhere between twelve and seventeen."

 

Leo nods. "Everyone, going up,"

 

Mikey allows April to climb onto his shell, and they begin scaling the inside of the building.

 

\-------

 

After a few minutes of searching, Raphael finds your room, and Mikey barges in swinging with him.

 

In seconds, they have  _him_  knocked out, and Raphael is freeing you from your restraints.

 

His eyes widen as he takes in your appearance.

 

You're covered in snot, tears, sweat, and...  _stuff_.

 

 _His_  stuff.

 

Raphael growls, prepared to storm out of the room, and-

 

"Raph," you call from behind him.

 

He immediately turns around and kneels at the side of the bed.

 

"Yes, I'm here," he says, taking your hand in his.

 

"You remembered," you say, trying your best to smile.

 

"Yeah," he tears up. "I guess I did."

 

You try to move close to him, but instead you cry out in pain. "Hurts,"

 

"We're gonna get you fixed up, Mila, don't worry," he says, reaching over to wrap you snugly in the cleaner bed sheets.

 

You wince when the cloth hits your open wounds, but when he lifts you in his arms, you don't complain.

 

He remembered something.

 

This is a good thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


	12. Broken But Not Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joey and Mila have a confrontation at the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know it's been a little over a week since I've updated, and again, I'm sorry. I have a lot going on, to be totally honest. I'm doing my best, but I kind of forget that this is a thing that I'm doing? I mean, I was posting chapters of AATSAL every single day. I'm giving myself a little elbow room here. So I'm sorry if the gaps in the updates aren't your cup of tea, but believe it or not, I have a life. More notes at the end.

You get to the hospital in record time, and Casey and April rush you in.

 

You're quickly rushed to the ER, where they sedate you, dress your wounds, and clean you up.

 

Then, the door opens.

 

"Hello," says the voice. "I'm Mary, and I'll be taking care of you. Hm... says here your name is Mila Mady-" she pauses. "Have I... met you before?"

 

You look up. Mary! That was her name.

 

"Oh my god," you say quietly, trying to blink tears out of your eyes. "Hi, Mary, I have a lot to tell you."

 

Mary shakes her head. "You need rest first." she injects something into your fluid bag that has you feeling drowsy.

 

"But... the... you... danger...!"

 

you try your best to stay conscious, but the drug is more powerful. You're pulled back into darkness.

 

\-------

 

When you come to, Joey is sitting in the chair across the room next to Stephen, Marcus is standing against the wall near the door, and April and Casey are sitting by the window.

 

Stephen is the first to see you move.

 

"Mommy!" h exclaims excitedly, slipping off of his chair and sprinting towards the bed. He climbs on, carefully crawling over you and curling up by your side.

 

Joey must've talked to him.

 

"Hi, baby," you reply, kissing his head and holding him tightly. "Joey, Marcus, what are you doing here?"

 

Joey stands. "Raphael and Leonardo called us and told us to get here. They told us something... bad happened to you."

 

"They weren't wrong," you reply dryly.

 

"Stop, Mila, this is is serious. You could be-"

 

"Pregnant? I know, Joey. I'm not stupid. But this is what happened to me before. It's how I got Cyan." you say, stroking Stephen's hair.

 

"What?" he asks, confused.

 

"In the other reality. I had a second kid. I told you about it personally." you say matter-of-factly.

 

Joey falls silent for a moment. "Okay, well, you're healing right now, and Stephen should-"

 

"Stephen should what? Go back with you? Joey, how could our child possibly depend on you after the stunt you tried to pull? You're healing just as much as I am," you snap, hugging Stephen tighter.

 

"Mila, I had to hear it from Leonardo that you've been busy all week on recon missions! How is that dependable?!"

 

"Because I left him in the hands of someone  _capable!_  Definitely more capable and trustworthy than anyone in your stupid system,"

 

"Oh yeah, because and overgrown rat is someone I'd trust with my son,"

 

"All of your men are overgrown rats! Save for George and Marcus, of course. They're all dirtbags that abuse the powers they were given!"

 

"Mila,  _reality check_ , you're hanging out with a bunch of  _freaks!_  That isn't normal!"

 

"Oh, and hanging out with _you_ is?! Joey, you forved me to do things I didn't want to and threatened to  _blackmail_  me! You're my ex-boyfriend!"

 

"We have a child together You need to quit parading around like a careless idiot and focus on what's important!"

 

"Like paying attention to  _you?_  Newsflash  _Joey_ , you let me stay with you because I didn't know where else to  _go_. I don't owe you  _anything_."

 

"I taught you everything you know! You owe me a lot more than you _think."_

 

"I don't owe shit to a man who can't own up to the fact that we aren't together anymore," you snap, glaring up at him. "You may be biologically related to Stephen, but you aren't a father. Raphael is more a man than you'll ever be, and over 60 percent of his DNA is turtle."

 

Joey glares at you. "Stephen can stay with you for now. But I know you, Mila. You'll slip up."

 

"yeah, but unlike you, I have people that I can trust to catch me when I fall."

 

He exits the room.

 

Casey and April exhale, and you turn to them. "Sorry about that, guys." then you look back at Marcus. "Not that I don't enjoy your company, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd leave."

 

Marcus nods, leaving the room.

 

"Joey seems nice," April says flatly, shooting a look at the door.

 

You sigh. "He doesn't understand that things are different now."

 

Stephen looks up at you. "Mommy? Why is daddy yelling at you?"

 

You sigh. "Stephen, your dad isn't exactly... your dad. Raphael is actually your dad."

 

The young boy looks confused. "Huh?"

 

"I'll explain it to you again when you understand."

 

He nods enthusiastically. "Okay!"

 

You turn back to April and Casey. "Where are the guys? Did the mission end okay?"

 

April stares at you, bewildered. "No! Mila, this is  _huge_ , and you could've  _died!_ You can't act like it's okay that this happened!

 

You sigh. "I know, I know, this isn't a normal thing. And it's not like I'm not... scarred by it. But it was supposed to happen."

 

"Did it happen in the other reality?" Casey asks.

 

You nod. "It's why I had a second kid. My life feels weird without her..."

 

"A baby?!" Stephen asks excitedly.

 

"yes, hun, a little baby sister," you reply.

 

"Baby brother!" he exclaims, throwing up his arms.

 

"No silly," you giggle. "A baby sister."

 

He sits back down, pouting. "Girls have cooties," he mutters.

 

The room is a chorus of laughs until the door opens again. Mary pops her head inside.

 

"Hello," she sing-songs. "I'm just here to check on Ms. Madyson."

 

You sit up as Mary flits around the bed, checking your vital signs and making sure your drip is full.

 

"You seem to be all set, but I have some news," she says, standing at the foot of the bed.

 

"What is it?" you ask, settling back against the head of the bed.

 

"We still need to test it, but there's a possibility that you might be pregnant." she says.

 

You nod. "I'm okay with that," you say calmly.

 

She smiles. "If you need anything at all, press your button. I'll be back in a couple of hours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I sure as hell enjoyed writing it. Arguments are my favorite to write ;^))) Love you guys! <3


	13. New Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A warm fuzzy filler chapter for the soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It hasn't even been a week yet buuuuuuut boop. New chapter. Bam. More notes at the end.

Mary clears you, and you're free to go home with April and Casey. They take you back to the lair, where you're welcomed back with open arms.

 

Raphael helps you back to his room after everyone has said their hellos.

 

"I'm so, so sorry that this happened ta you," he says, taking your hands in his.

 

"Living through it twice wasn't fun," you say, forcing a laugh.

 

He freezes. "Twice?"

 

You nod. "You... still don't remember?"

 

He shakes his head. "No," he replies, leaning down to rest his forehead against your entwined hands. "But I'd never wish this on anyone, not even Karai,"

 

Your heart pounds when you feel something warm and wet hit your skin.

 

"Raphael..." you say quietly, pulling him close to you.

 

"I'm so sorry that you had ta go through that again," you can hear the tears in his voice; he won't show you his face.

 

"Raph, baby, I'm okay now," you tell him, rubbing his bicep.

 

"I know, and I'm grateful. But I still have this - this  _overwhelming_  feeling of guilt, like I shoulda been there, and you - no one should ever go through that  _twice_ , and-"

 

"Raph," you cut him off, tilting his head up so you can meet his eyes. "I still love you."

 

Tears stream down his cheeks, and he leans in to kiss you passionately.

 

Your hands find a place on either side of his face, cupping it. You do your best to wipe away his tears with your thumbs, and he holds you tightly.

 

When he pulls away, his eyes are searching yours desperately.

 

"I want so badly to say it back," he says, more tears gathering in his eyes. "But I'm not there yet, and I'm sorry. But I have this feelin' like I'm supposed ta care... And I'm tryin' ta let myself, but it's so hard..."

 

"Baby, don't worry," you say softly, rubbing his cheek with your thumb again. "You don't have to say it back to me right now if you can't right now. I understand."

 

He nods, leaning back up to leave a lingering kiss on your lips.

 

"Raphael, I really hope you remember who I am to you soon. My children need their father."

 

He looks up, a new light in his jade green eyes.

 

"Are you... pregnant?" he asks, reaching for your abdomen, but stopping his hand mid-reach.

 

"I might be. I should be. I was..."

 

"...In the other reality." he finishes, processing that.

 

"If I am, they're going to need you," you say, then lock eyes with him. " _I'm_  going to need you."

 

He nods. "I'll be there for you. And this time around, nothin' bad will happen ta anyone. I won't let it."

 

\-------

 

You hear back from the hospital within a week.

 

You're pregnant.

 

Raphael is seriously overjoyed; You can tell no matter how hard he tries to hide it. You can see it in his eyes.

 

The rest of the guys and April are supportive of your decision to keep the baby.

 

After the excitement dies down, Leonardo sets the team back on track in terms of missions.

 

"New rule," he says. "No splitting up from the rest of your team. At all."

 

In the past several weeks, with all of you focusing and working hard, plenty of important information was gathered.

 

Donatello found Shredder's main network and started filtering through conversations and business transactions for insight as to what him and his henchmen are planning.

 

Raphael, Leonardo, and Michelangelo managed to sniff out and find all of Shredder's operations, compounds, and training centers.

 

And now, one by one, you're going to take them all down.

 

\-------

 

You're sitting on the couch watching a movie with Raph and April when Stephen crawls up to you and just...  _stares_  at your abdomen.

 

"Stephen...?" you say, looking over at him.

 

"Splinna say there's a baby there," he replies, placing his hand on your belly.

 

You smile. "Yes. It's still growing, just like you."

 

He sits back on his haunches, starting to giggle. "Mommy's silly,"

 

"What?" you laugh, confused. "Why?"

 

"Mommy eat the baby," he falls into a fit of giggling.

 

You snort, trying not to laugh.

 

"No, you silly goose," you say, nudging him with your elbow. "Mommy didn't eat the baby."

 

"But baby's in your tum!" he giggles, leaning back up to be close to you.

 

"Because baby needs to grow a little before they can meet everyone," you smile, gently knocking him over.

 

He laughs even harder. "That's silly!"

 

You can't help but laugh. His is contagious.

 

You pull him onto your lap (and Raphael's, considering he's right next to you), and start tickling him.

 

Raphael joins in, and Stephen squeals with laughter.

 

When he calms down, he rolls off of your lap and hugs you.

 

"Go play," you say, and he turns around and skips off to find something to do.

 

"I'm so glad he's here," you say to Raph. "This is what I didn't have with him last time. And he seems so happy."

 

Raphael wraps his arms around you and subtly kisses your cheek. "I'm glad, too."

 

You can't help the warm, fuzzy feeling that seeps into your body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, hope you enjoyed. Feedback is greatly appreciated and accepted, so please feel free to comment down below! Love y'all <3


	14. Keeping Hope Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mila visits the doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! It has now been a little over a week since I've posted. I'm doing my best to try and keep a schedule, but a lot has been happening to me as of late. So, through it all, I will continue to keep posting for you as best as I can. Enjoy! More notes at the end.

The following weeks are dedicated to shutting down all of the operations you were able to track down.

 

You shut down several with ease. Getting in, destroying, getting out.

 

Others, not so much. A few times, you were confronted by Shredder's Purple Dragon henchmen and Foot soldiers, and you had to really fight to win.

 

On more than one occasion, one of the guys or April would take a blow for you; one that might've hit you in your stomach.

 

Of course you caught onto that. You aren't stupid.

 

You tried explaining that you can handle yourself, that you'd been pregnant before, but they just keep telling you that they're trying to keep you safe.

 

And each time, you'd taken a deep breath and reminded yourself that it's probably true.

 

After weeks of working your asses off, Leonardo lets everyone have a whole week off.

 

"Hey, Mila?" Raphael calls, walking into the living room.

 

You turn your head. "Yeah?"

 

"How many weeks are ya?" he asks, plopping down next to you.

 

"Into my pregnancy?"

 

He nods.

 

"Ten, eleven?"

 

"Don'tcha need to get a checkup or somethin'?" he asks, his eyes flickering down to your abdomen.

 

You smile. "Yeah, I do," you turn to him. "How did you know that?"

 

He glances away, blush reddening his cheeks.

 

"Did you... look it up?" you laugh, a smile forming on your lips.

 

"No," he blurts, sounding flustered.

 

You start to laugh. "You're a terrible liar! Oh my god, you did!" you turn his head back to you, pecking him on the lips. "You're so cute,"

 

He chuckles, embarrassed. "I guess," then, he swallows his embarrassment and becomes serious. "You should have April take you," he says, wrapping his arms around your middle.

 

"Okay. I'll see if they have anything open for later." then, you lean up and kiss him again.

 

\-------

 

You manage to get an appointment for later that day, around three in the afternoon.

 

April accompanies you.

 

You're seated in a large chair in a room with a bunch of contraptions and machines.

 

After a brief waiting period, the doctor pops into the room.

 

"Good afternoon, ladies," he says warmly, closing the door behind him.

 

You smile. "Hello," you reply.

 

He looks back and forth between the two of you. "Are you two together, or...?"

 

You and April stare at each other, eyes wide, before breaking into fits of laughter.

 

"No," you say, turning back to him. "She's my close friend, April. My, uh, boyfriend couldn't make it today. Came down with something."

 

The doctor nods. "Alright, well, Ms. Madyson, I understand you're about ten weeks along!"

 

You nod. "That I am."

 

"Okay, today we will be taking the first sonogram of your little one. Are you ready?"

 

You lift the hem of your shirt, laying back on the chair as he adjusts it. He turns on the machine. He opens a tube, putting some cream stuff on the device in his hand. He sits next to your chair. Then, he presses the device carefully to your abdomen.

 

You suck in a surprised breath through your teeth.

 

"Everything alright?" he asks, looking up at you.

 

You nod. "Cold," you reply quietly, your attention drawn to the monitor.

 

After a couple of minutes of quiet searching, the doctor's face lights up.

 

"There's the little one!" he exclaims.

 

A warm smile spreads across your lips.

 

"Each time I've done this, it's taken my breath away," you admit happily.

 

"You've been pregnant before?" he asks.

 

You nod. "I have a three year old. He's turning four soon."

 

The doctor nods again, and the three of you fall silent as he wraps up the appointment. He hands you a paper towel to wipe your abdomen. Then, as you stand, he hands you the image from the monitor.

 

You stare in awe at the image.

 

"Yours and the baby's vitals are fine. You don't have to come back for a little while. We'll call to inform you when you need to come back again." the doctor tells you, and you nod.

 

You and April head out of the building and back to the sewers.

 

\-------

 

When the two of you get back to the lair, Leonardo and Raphael are sitting on the couch.

 

Raphael looks up. "How'd it go?"

 

You smile, sitting next to him. You hand him the sonogram image.

 

"Is this...?" he asks, glancing at you.

 

You nod, leaning on him. "That's the baby."

 

Leo stands, turning to walk away. "I'll leave you two alone."

 

Raphael's arm finds it's way around your middle, his hand resting on your stomach.

 

You look up at him. "Do you..."

 

He sighs. "I don't. I wish I did..."

 

You take a deep breath, leaning your head on his shoulder. "I'm sure you will... Eventually."

 

"Eventually."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Fuzzy chapters are my favorite second to arguments. I don't know what it is, they're just a lot of fun to write. Anyways, comment if you liked! Maybe what you think is gonna happen? Leave a kudos if you enjoyed, it means a lot. Love you all. <3


	15. Mission Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mila and April run into trouble on a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS! Jeez it has been a while since I posted! I went on vacation for Thanksgiving and felt a little awkward writing and posting around my family so I didn't hahahaaaa... Anyways, enjoy! More notes at the end.

This week, Leo is harder on everyone than usual.

 

"We're so close, I know we are. This time, we can do it," he says.

 

By the time Sunday rolls around, you're exhausted, and almost positive you've lost twenty pounds.

 

After several weeks, there are only a handful of Shredder's operations left standing.

 

One night, you're with April on a recon mission. The two of you are scoping out a seemingly empty building, when suddenly, your stomach drops.

 

"April, stay alert," you hiss. "I have a bad-"

 

Your sentence is cut off by a loud sound coming from the floor above you.

 

Your eyes are wide, and when you look back at April, her expression matches yours.

 

You grab your phone, dialing Raphael's number urgently.

 

It takes several rings, but he picks up.

 

"Mila? What is it?" he asks.

 

"Raph," you whisper. "the building Leo asked us to scope out is  _not empty_ ," you hiss.

 

"What?! Are you and April okay?"

 

You take a deep breath. "We're currently fine, but we heard noise upstairs. Send backup,"

 

"Got it. Stay safe, and try to avoid contact."

 

"Yeah," you hang up, slipping your phone back in your bag.

 

There's another sound upstairs, then another, and then it's quiet.

 

"April," you call. "we need to clear this building,"

 

She nods. "We should wait for the guys,"

 

Before you can reply, you hear footsteps on the stairs.

 

"Let's hope they get here in time," you whisper, ducking behind one of the many wooden crates in the room.

 

The footsteps sound small and careful, so it has to be a woman, or at least a child.

 

"Yes, Master, it is clear. I do not think they have gotten to this one yet."

 

It's woman. And she's definitely talking about your missions with the guys.

 

but who could she be? It's not like the turtles know many people, let alone women...

 

It was just you, and April... and...

 

Oh.  _Oh_.

 

_Karai_.

 

\-------

 

Raphael catches up with Leonardo, who is several yards ahead of him, grabbing him by the arm.

 

"Dude, Mila an' April are in trouble," he says quietly, trying to halt his brother's movement.

 

"What do you mean?" he asks, slowing to a stop.

 

Leo pauses. "The building is empty."

 

"No, it  _isn't_ ," Raphael insists.

 

The blue-clad turtle stares at his brother for a few moments. "Back this way, team," he calls, heading in your direction.

 

\-------

 

You take shallow, quiet breaths, carefully peeking out from your hiding place.

 

Across the room (thankfully looking away from you), there's a tall, thin, elegant-looking woman.

 

You can see the side of her face. She's wearing dark makeup and monochromatic colored clothing, and dark, shoulder-length hair. But when she moves, you can see strands of red. Her pale skin stands in stark contrast to her threatening appearance, but she's beautiful.

 

You turn to April, pointing to Karai and raising a brow.

 

She nods, answering your unspoken question.

 

Looking back, it appears as if Karai is trying to unlock, or activate something.

 

You move out of your hiding spot to find another, trying to get closer without being seen.

 

There's another, larger crate several yards away. You squat behind it, peeking out at her.

 

Suddenly, there's a loud clicking noise and a beep, and the wall in front of her opens. The door begins to close, cloaking her slowly in darkness.

 

You reach into your bag, grabbing the small device Donatello gave you for situations like this. You peek out and skid it across the floor, landing it just underneath the door to keep it from touching the ground.

 

April sprints out to meet you in front of the door. She looks at you with uncertainty.

 

"We should wait for the guys," she says quietly.

 

You shake your head. "We have to see what she's doing down there," you hiss. "This is a recon mission, right?"

 

"Exactly! This is a  _reacon mission_. Leo told us  _not_  to engage." April says, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

 

"April, if we wait, she could do something  _horrible!_   We  _have_   to go down there," you insist, looking up at April urgently.

 

April stares at you, her expression shifting from wary, to suspicious, to worried.

 

"Anything can happen," she says after a long moment.

 

"I'm going down there, with or without you, April," you say.

 

She sighs. "Let's go. But when the guys get here,  _you're taking the blame_."

 

You smile and nod, leaning down to open the door.

 

\-------

 

It's dark, damp, and the air smells like gunpowder and musk.

 

You're walking in front of April, holding a small, battery-powered flashlight.

 

The room you're in is no different than the one above you, but the air feels... different. Darker.

 

You have a sinking feeling in you gut, but you press forwards.

 

It's eerily quiet.

 

"Where do you think she went?" you hiss.

 

"I'm not sure. I can barely see," she whispers.

 

"Maybe she-" you're cut off when the lights suddenly turn on.

 

Your heart pounds, and you quickly turn to face April. Her expression once again mirrors yours.

 

She glances around, then grabs your hand and yanks you behind a large crate.

 

"I know you are here," calls a voice. A Japanese accent is apparent in her tone.

 

You quiet your ragged breathing, your heart pounding in your ears.

 

"What do we do?!" you hiss worriedly.

 

"We can't fight her," April says. "She's much stronger than us."

 

"Come out and I will consider making your end swift." Karai calls out.

 

"We have to do something," you whisper. "She'll find us if we stay put."

 

April exhales anxiously. "We have to do our best to stay hidden until the guys come."

 

You sigh. "There has to be something we can do."

 

You glance around. Now that you can see the rest of the room, you spot several open crates, each holding different types of weapons.

 

Another armory? But you thought there weren't any left! They must've kept this one a secret in case of emergencies like this.

 

There are several hook-like contraptions on the ceiling. You turn your head, peeking around the boxes for a control center. When you spot it across the room, you nudge April.

 

"If we can access that, we could do some serious damage, right? Then we can get out of here," you whisper.

 

April has a calculating look on her face. She nods. "Probably. But how do you plan on getting over there?"

 

You pause. "I can sneak over,"

 

"No, Mila, don't-!"

 

But you're already moving to dart around between the crates.

 

You carefully and quietly make your way towards the small control center. You're almost there, when your shoe catches on the corner of a crate.

 

Dread makes your stomach drop. You squat down, trying to free your boot with shaky hands.

 

When you finally pull free, you begin running again.

 

'Home stretch,' you think, reaching for the doorknob. Your fingers graze he silvery metal just as you feel something wrap around your ankle. It tightens, yanking you away from the door and into the middle of the room.

 

You land on your left arm, crying out in pain. You're pulled up into the air, hanging upside-down.

 

As you swing, Karai steps into the light, stopping a foot away from you. With just a singular touch of her finger, you stop swinging.

 

"Hm..." she hums. "It seems as if I have a new... guest."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that chapter! Hmmm I wonder what'll happen next..?


	16. Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The turtles arrive late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Gonna keep this short and sweet to get to the chapter. But I spent my whole day helping my mom wrap Christmas gifts. Enjoy! More notes at the end.

Leo, Raph, and Mikey sneak their way into the building, keeping a look out for you and April.

 

All three remain alert and on guard, and they do a full sweep of the first and second floor.

 

The three gather in the middle of the room.

 

"Raph, I thought you said they were here," Leo says, frustrated.

 

"I did! They  _are_ , look," the red-clad turtle replies, showing his brother his phone screen.

 

Leo stares at the screen, frustrated. Mikey leans over to look as well.

 

"Dudes, maybe there's a secret room or something," Mikey suggests, glancing around.

 

"Maybe," Leo agrees. "Team, another sweep. Let me know if you find anything."

 

After what feels like hours, Mikey speaks up.

 

"Dudes! Over here," he calls.

 

Leo and Raphael flock towards him.

 

"Woah," they say at the same time.

 

"Do you think they're in there?" Mikey asks.

 

"They gotta be. My screen says they're here." Raph insists.

 

"The question is," Leo starts, stepping towards the door. "Where does it go, and how do we open it?"

 

"Only one way ta find out, right?" Raphael mutters, rearing himself back. He starts to charge towards the door when Leo stops him.

 

"Now hold on just a second," he says, giving him a stern look. "We can't just break down this door. I don't think  that would've worked anyways. We need to be stealthy, and smart. Anything could be in there."

 

Raphael growls to himself. "So how are we gettin' it open?"

 

"We're going to have to call Donnie," the blue-clad turtle says, pulling out his phone.

 

\-------

 

Donnie jumps as his phone starts blaring Leo's ringtone. After taking a breath, the purple-clad turtle picks up his phone.

 

"What's up, Leo?" he asks casually.

 

"Donnie, we need technical assistance. We've come across a door with an electric lock. There's a grid-like device to the left of the door," Leo tells him.

 

Donatello sits back in his chair, thinking.

 

"Are there buttons or is it just a grid?" he asks.

 

After a moment of silence, Leo responds, "Buttons."

 

Donnie leans forward in his chair, turning on his computer. "Alright," he starts, his eyes rapidly searching the screen. "I'm sending you a code that should pop that baby open like a can'a soda. All you gotta do is hook your phone up to the panel, and press 'OK' when it comes up on your screen. Let me access the network quick and I'll find the code for you."

 

Several different blocks and firewalls pop up on Donnie's screen. "This is a lot of security for just a door. Anything could be behind it,"

 

"Well, what do you think?" Leo asks.

 

"Well, this kind of security is only used on top-secret, confidential government documents and programs... Even their secrets have secrets. That could be a government-owned warehouse, or even-"

 

Donnie freezes.

 

"Don?"

 

"Leo, we were wrong. This warehouse doesn't belong to the government, or even the Shredder."

 

"Then who does it belong to?"

 

Donnie swallows. "Karai."

 

\-------

 

"I'll say it again," you pant. You spit blood. "I. Am. Alone."

 

You're no longer upside-down. Now you're hanging, and she's been trying to beat answers out of you. She hasn't punched or hit you in the stomach yet, but it's the only threat that this is posing to you.

 

Several times you've curled away, scared she was going to hit you there.

 

"If you are alone, how did you manage to find this place? How to find this room, and myself?"

 

"I wandered in," you lie.

 

" _Lies!"_  she shouts. She rears back her fist, then flings it at your face again.

 

You grunt when she hits you, and you can feel more blood drip down your chin.

 

"Who are you working for?" Karai asks again, circling your hanging body.

 

You spit again. "No one," you say tiredly. "I just. Wandered. In."

 

Karai lets out an angry growl. She whirls into a powerful roundhouse kick, her leg reaching up to crash into your rib cage.

 

You hear a loud cracking noise, and you yell out in pain. " _FUCK!"_

 

"Tell me who you are," Karai demands.

 

"I  _did_ ," you insist.

 

"Foolish girl, I could have put you out of your misery already," she says, stepping in front of you. She pulls a knife from her boot. "It no longer matters to me who you are working for. But you will no longer be working for them."

 

Your heart pounds as she grips the knife in her hand.

 

Before she can even take a step, a loud whirring noise sounds, and then you're being dropped to the floor.

 

You glance around, then spot April in the control booth. She gives you a thumbs up, and you return it. You stand up as straight as you can, then dart for your bag.

 

April keeps Karai at bay with the machinery while you dig around and fish out your knife.

 

Karai ducks past the machinery, charging at you. She swings at you twice and tries to kick you, which you barely dodge. You launch your free hand at her face, knocking her in the jaw. She stumbles back but shakes it off and charges towards you again.

 

Before she can reach you, she's falling flat and landing on her face. you look up in time to see April running towards the two of you chain in hand.

 

Karai leans up and flings several shurikens at April, who lets go to dodge. The former shakes free of the chain, kicking it away and springing to her feet.

 

You and April stand on either side of her, and she glances back and forth between the two of you like an angry, wild animal.

 

April charges at her first and Karai turns to her, so at that moment, you run up behind her and wrap your arms around her whole torso, catching her arms. You take your right leg and cross it in front of hers, sweeping your leg back and using your arms to tip her over to the left.

 

Your arm quickly moves to catch her legs, and you shuffle to your left, leaning down. You pop your entire body back up, using all of your strength to fling her into the crates a few feet away.

 

She hits the first one and breaks through it, sliding right through the contents and stopping after she breaks through the second crate.

 

You pant heavily and collapse to the floor.

 

\-------

 

Leo, Mikey, and Raphael finally get downstairs. They sprint through the room and reach the clearing, pausing at the sight before them.

 

April is pulling you into her lap on the floor, and several crates are broken. There's a chain and blood on the floor.

 

Raphael pushes past his brothers and kneels next to April, taking you from her.

 

"Mila, what happened? What did you do?" he asks, moving hair out of your bloodied face.

 

"She asked me if I was alone," you say, your swollen lip and bloody mouth somewhat obscuring your speech. "She asked me if I worked with anyone. I protected you,"

 

"Why? Why would you do that?" he tilts your head up. "Why?"

 

"Because," you reply. "I love you."

 

Then, your vision fades, and everything goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! And hey, quick question. If I wrote something original, and posted it, would you guys read it?


	17. Taking Time To Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang takes some time off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So, I've decided to end this thing at 24 chapters, meaning we're in the home stretch. Only 8 more after this! More notes at the end.

Leo, Mikey, Raph, and April managed to get you and Karai out  _and_  destroy the building. They left Karai in an alley across the street and brought you to the hospital.

 

When you wake up, you glance around.

 

"Damn," is the first word out of your mouth.

 

You try to sit up and feel a shooting pain in your left side.

 

" _Ow!"_  you hiss.

 

You try to lift your arms, but your left one feels heavy. It's covered in a yellow cast.

 

You feel helpless and weak.

 

After a minute, the door opens, and that nurse, Mary walks in.

 

"Hey," Mary murmurs, moving around the room.

 

"Hi." you reply grumpily.

 

"How do you feel?"

 

"Like shit."

 

"Do you need more-"

 

"No, no, that isn't it," you sigh. "I feel shitty about... other things."

 

Mary sits on the bed "Mila, what happened to you?"

 

"I can't tell you," you say.

 

"Sure you can, Mila, I won't-"

 

"I  _can't_ ," you cut her off. "If I tell you  _anything_ , even just a word, I'll be putting you at risk, and you don't deserve to die."

 

Mary pauses. "Can you at least tell me who did this to you?"

 

"Some Japanese bitch." you spit.

 

\-------

 

You're released from the hospital a couple of days later, and you and the Turtles take several weeks off for you to recover.

 

During this time, Joey and Marcus travel into the city to bring Stephen back to you.

 

He stays with you while you heal.

 

When you finally get your cast off, you're 18 weeks pregnant. Four and a half months.

 

While you were out of commission, not much was done. Leo figured that if one of you was taking time to heal, then you all should.

 

When you're finally on your feet again, Leo picks right back up where he let off.

 

"It's been a month and a half since our last Foot clan encounter, and they've probably rebuilt a bunch of what we tore down." Leo says, his eyes moving over all of you one by one. "But tomorrow night, we start taking back our city."

 

Mikey whoops and high-five (er, threes) Donnie, April shoots you an excited grin, and Raphael and Casey body check each other before the former turns to you.

 

He takes your hands in his and leans in to peck you on the lips.

 

In the several weeks you were, well, broken, Raphael and you grew a bit closer. He smiles around you more, and leans just a bit closer to you when you're with him on the couch. He's been stealing kisses, and he's even made out with you a few times.

 

However, he still says he can't remember you. He remembers the  _idea_  of you, but not any of your memories.

 

Which, quite frankly, you're okay with as long as he still wants to be around you.

 

Before he pulls away, he leans over and whispers, "My room?"

 

Your heart thuds excitedly, and you smile up at him like nothing happened. But with a subtle nod of your head, he knows you're accepting his offer.

 

\-------

 

After the commotion dies down, you head into the foyer and rap on Raph's door a few times before slipping inside.

 

He's laying on his bed, patting the empty space next to him. There's a soft smile on his lips, and you return it before you slip out of your shoes and join him.

 

You lay in front of him on your side. "Hi," you murmur.

 

"Hey," he responds with a smirk.

 

His hand moves down to rest on your belly bump, and you get the chills (every damn time, you swear). His other hand moves to cup your cheek, and he moves so that you're laying on your back and he's leaning over you.

 

He leans down and tenderly presses his lips to yours, kissing you softly, slowly.

 

Your arms find their way around his neck, and you pull him close as possible.

 

He pulls back a few inches. He has question, and anxiety hidden in his eyes. He's hesitating.

 

"Baby? What is it?" you ask quietly, cupping his cheek.

 

"Mila, there's somethin' important that I really wanna tell ya, because I feel like I can now," he breathes.

 

Your heart skips a damn beat.

 

"Yes...?"

 

"I'll tell ya, only if you answer this question honestly,"

 

"Of course."

 

"Would it be... alright... if we had sex?" he asks carefully.

 

"It'd be more than alright," you reply, eagerly pecking him on the lips.

 

When you pull apart, there's a new, happy light in his eyes.

 

"Good god, do I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Incoming smut next chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Feel free to comment and leave kudos, they're greatly appreciated!


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